My father was an ethical man, or so society believed him to be.
My father was a principled man, or so society believed him to be.
My father was a faithful man, or so society believed him to be.
My father was an honest man, or so society believed him to be.
My father was a courageous man, or so society believed him to be.
I beg to object!
Objection!
Never had I seen a person wear lies in a way that seemed so beautiful and truthful.
My father was vices embodied.
My father was everything demonic that needed to be exorcised from the visage of the earth.
Where were his principles when he bashed my mother’s nose in?
Where were his principles when I hid from him as he ran through the house looking for his punching bag of a child?
Where were his principles when he was responsible for the bruises on our bodies?
Where were his principles when he broke my arm and threatened to kill my mother if I told the truth to anyone outside our so called family?
Where were his ethics when he gambled my future away?
Where were his ethics when he committed adultery more than ones?
Was he being faithful when my mother found condoms in his trousers and she wouldn’t stop crying after the hell of a marriage she’d persevered?
Was he being faithful when he started dating a woman who was my now current age?
Where was his courage when he beat my mother for questioning him?
Where was his courage when he left in the middle of the night because he couldn’t bear to look into my mother’s eyes and see the years of destruction he’d put her through, and yet now he wanted to leave her for a new ‘love of his life’?
There was only cowardice and shame.
He couldn’t dare to see the betrayal in her eyes.
In my eyes!
I still remember the look on my mother’s face when she realized he’d left for good.
Her heart broke so loudly that mine shattered at the sound of it.
Her soul’s light went out completely and she finally gave up!
She went to the bathroom for what seemed like an eternity that morning after he left.
The water didn’t stop running and she didn’t answer when I knocked.
So I walked in to a scene that forever changed my life and my opinion about my father.
The water was red and it was everywhere on the floor.
She wasn’t moving and she lay with her head facing the door and her eyes fixated at me as I remained frozen by the bathroom door.
The look on her pale face could evidently show that she was hoping my father would have walked in just in time to save her but like the disappointment he’d always been, she died with nothing but a hopeful look on her face.
My heart broke twice in a single day and in a way that I can never forgive my father.
Vanessa_Beyonce
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